“Just Internet Friends”

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I don’t know when Catie and I became friends, but it had to be back in the early 2000’s. And I don’t remember HOW we became friends, but somehow I found my way to her blog and then just stayed. I loved her voice and sense of humor. If you’re funny, I’ll probably love you.

In early 2007, I went through a surgery that knocked me down for weeks—a planned hysterectomy that also included a surprise bowel resection. Recovery was tough and included a second surgery to reverse the colostomy that I lived with for about four months while my colon healed. All this to say that, come fall, I was itching for a vacation to celebrate my recovery. Hey, I said, let’s go to California and see Catie! When I floated the idea, Catie gave me a thumbs up and was a big help in planning our trip, passing along recommendations for a place to stay, sights to see, and restaurants to try. I didn’t want to be a pest, but I sure as heck wanted to say hi to her while we were in the neighborhood, even though we were just internet friends.

Catie was excited to meet in person, too, and invited us over for dinner on a day that just so happened to be our 14th wedding anniversary. My sister thought that this was all very weird, flying across the country then having dinner with someone I’d met on the internet. She was worried that we’d be murdered, but clearly that didn’t happen as I’m sitting here writing this. What DID happen is that Fred and I shared a wonderful evening with Catie and Andy, and finally met Seamus the wonder cat. What a great night! Catie and Andy and Seamus were exactly like I knew they’d be—gracious and fun hosts who treated us to a delicious home-cooked roast chicken dinner in their charming San Jose home.

Throughout the trip, Catie would email me with suggestions of things we shouldn’t miss (which I clumsily retrieved via my clamshell iBook and dial up internet). We went on to visit the Winchester Mystery House, the Muir Woods, the Golden Gate Bridge, the Monterey Bay Aquarium, 17 Mile Drive at Pebble Beach, Stanford University, and several local missions that Catie had recommended.

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What a great trip, not only because we we’d spent the week in California (those sequoias!!) but also because I’d finally met Catie “in real life.” Catie’s blog slowly petered out in favor of Facebook and Instagram. She uses both of those social media platforms very much like a blog. I love her “Three Things” posts, where she details, in her very Catie way, three, usually unrelated, things. Like this:

1. Yesterday was my darling dog’s 10th birthday. He is the love of my life. When we got a dog, I knew I would love the dog, I just had no idea that I would love the dog this much. Every single night he jumps up on the bed and impatiently waits for me to get in bed. Then he slams his body into mine and growls at me because I didn’t leave enough room for his giant head on my pillow. I yell, “I AM ALLOWED TO USE MY PILLOW” he grumbles some more and then we fall asleep. It is super annoying and I really hate it in the summer, but I don’t ever turn him away because I know when he dies I’ll be crying about how much I miss his aggressive snuggling.

2. October 16th was our TWENTY-FIFTH wedding anniversary. We stood in a tiny catholic church in Mendocino, California and made a bunch of big promises to each other. The priest who officiated our wedding started the ceremony out by recounting all the marriages he had officiated that ended in divorce. I kept thinking he would somehow turn it around, but no, he just listed them out and then kept going. I was so overwhelmed by the enormity of the moment that I cried when I said my vows. I don’t mean just some sweet tears rolling down my young, supple skin. I mean CRYING. The priest even put his hand my shoulder at one point to steady me. Hahaha. You guys, I was EMOTIONAL in the olden days.
Anyway, we got married and then we went on to live our married life and we’ve never once killed each other or gotten divorced. Here’s what I think the secret to long content marriage is- let everything go as quickly as you can and accept that other person for who they are in the exact moment you marry them. (I’m not suggesting I did either of these things, I’m just saying these are good ideas.) No joking, I really like being married to Andy because he’s a really good man, he still thinks I’m funny and he’s 100% worth it. Also, he learned how to sharpen knives and our kitchen knives could skin a bear and then slice a tomato into paper thin slices and you cannot put a price on that.

3. Here are some things about us as a couple- We love a road trip. We are both messy, but we think the other one is messier. We have become great cooks, but in entirely different ways. We are horrible at doing most projects together. We are really good at making the other one laugh at themselves. We can make big decisions quickly and without regret. We are both super opinionated, picky, and have control issues, but oddly (and conveniently) not about the same things. Our super power is making deals with each other and keeping them. For instance, if we decide that we have to let something go and never speak of it again, we let it go and never speak of it again.

Tuesday night, while setting up a new iPad, I loaded the Instagram app and coincidentally stumbled upon the news that Catie—dear Catie—had suddenly passed away on January 21st. To say I was stunned would be an epic understatement. She was wise, authentic, kind-hearted, and FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY. She was only 50, and we’d only met that one time, but she was my friend and this is all impossible.

I’ve been walking around the past few days wanting to hug everyone. Suddenly it feels like nothing matters while at the same time everything matters.

We have these friends. Some we meet. Some we don’t. We love them in the many many ways that love exists. I loved Catie and now she’s gone and the world seems so quiet without her. Thank God for Facebook and Instagram where I can see her beautifully composed salads, her outfit for the day, her freshly manicured nails. I can hear her joking with Murray the dog and Seamus the cat on their daily walks. (Yes, the cat went, too…always trailing a little bit behind.)

In her last Instagram post, she showed off “before” and “after” photos of her pantry—a shambles before and tidy afterwards. The other night I purged and organized my own ransacked-looking pantry in memory of Catie. I’m sure she’s laughing about that.

I’m lucky to have a lot of internet friends—some, like Catie, I’ve met, and others I haven’t. But whether we’ve met or not, we share our stories through Facebook and Instagram, through blog posts and photos. We’re “just internet friends” but we share laughs and encouragement, virtual hugs and memories. We’re “just internet friends” but we share the details of our lives—all of those funny, stupid, frustrating, wonderful, and magical moments.

We’re just internet friends, but I love you.

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My Life In Notebooks

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I started my third Field Notes Storage box this week. That’s a picture of a portion of the first two boxes, crammed with as many completed pocket notebooks as I could jam in there. I keep a “personal” and “work” notebook running all the time, and enjoy using not just Field Notes, but also Nock Co., Story Supply, Write Notepad & Co., and Log & Jotter notebooks. It takes me about a month to fill a work notebook, and a little longer, on average, to fill my personal notebook, depending on what’s going on. I’m dealing with some complicated stuff lately and nothing makes me feel better than to sit down and carefully write out my notes as a way to clear my head and organize my thoughts. Once I do that, I can exhale and let go.

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This is where the value in pocket notebooks lies. In capturing the daily tasks and appointments, joys and frustrations, accomplishments and works-in-progress, one tiny check box at a time.

Here are my notebooks. They are both nothing and everything.

Here is my life.

 

Keeping Them Honest. (And by “them” I mean “me.”)

I love Anderson Cooper’s “Keeping Them Honest” segments on CNN.com where he takes the day’s political stories and reviews the facts versus the spin. I thought I’d do the same for myself, as a way to look back at 2018. Where did I fail? Where did I succeed?

Let’s hit some areas where I fell short.

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I believe I declared that I was going to clear out my backlog of notes and stationery by mailing a card or note to someone every day of 2018. That habit stuck for awhile—into March, I think. And I DID send a good number of cards, but lesson learned: you’re not going to do ANYTHING every day of the year*. This basket, I must admit, looks pretty much the same as when I made that declaration. Not only that, but I bought even more cards and notes (at 75% off at Barnes & Noble, but still) so the stationery situation is actually a little worse than when I started. Something to work on in 2019.

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I also started scoring my days, drawing the weather, and charting my mood in my Hobonichi Techo. That venture petered out after a month or so. I do like looking back at those pages, but I don’t think I was gaining much insight from the practice, so I just stopped. I’d like to use the monthly calendar pages to track something, but I haven’t given that much thought yet. It’s only January 6th. There’s still time. (A friend suggested, just today, that we get back into running so this might be the perfect place to log those workouts. And my mood. And the weather.)

There are certainly other areas where I fell far short of my goals, declared or not. I acquired more pens than seems healthy, and didn’t dip into my own collection of under-used pens when I had the hankering for something new. Definitely working on this in 2019. Six days in. No new pens. High five!!

So…where did I succeed in 2018?

I started dream journaling.

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This isn’t something that I do very often, but I do do it every now and then. Especially vivid or meaningful dreams get recorded and drawn, and I do my best to tease out the significance of the what I experienced or felt. Sometimes what seems like a stressful dream actually delivers a positive message when I sit down and dissect the images and emotions. This is a “sometime” kind of journaling, but it’s sticking. Success.

I finally made it to CW Pencil Enterprise. Twice. LOVED IT.

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I’ll do a separate blog post about my experience in the store, but let me just say that this little shop feels like home. It’s warm and wonderful, full of delightful people and pencils. There’s a little bit of magic there. I’ll be returning in 2019. For sure.

I’m still writing my morning pages. Every single morning.

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I started this practice in the summer of 2016 and once that switch flipped on, it’s never been turned off. I can’t imagine my morning without coffee (french-pressed cold brew) and my journal.

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A few days before Christmas I started my fourth 480-page Nanami Paper journal. That’s a lot of ink and words—a lot of whatever spills out of my groggy head and onto the page. A lot of struggles, doubts, anxieties, pep talks, and precious memories.

2018 was a weird year. Lots of drama and changes (ongoing) with my elderly parents. Very little blogging. 2019 will probably be weird, too, but I hope to do significantly more blogging. And if I don’t, feel free to keep me honest.

*Edited to add: Tina correctly pointed out, in a comment, that I have maintained a daily journaling habit, so clearly I can do something every single day if I really want to. She’s right. Because I’ve scheduled this, and made it an ingrained habit, I’ve been successful at maintaining this streak. Something to think about as I work to make improvements and tweak my priorities in 2019.

LAMY in NYC: A Visit In Which Some Secrets Are Revealed

About a month ago, I spent a day in New York City. The weather was gorgeous—a sunny 74 degree day. As others from my bus trip scurried away for Broadway tickets, bargain shopping, and fancy restaurants, I took off on my own to see the stationery sights.

One of the stops on my walking tour was the four month old flagship LAMY store in SOHO (452 West Broadway)—which has the distinction of being the first LAMY store in the US.

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The store is narrow and tall—sleek and modern—and full of some of my favorite workhorse pens.

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I had a fun chat with the shopkeeper. That’s him the first photo—casually sketching an impressive superhero with a Safari or AL-Star. When I try out pens, I usually write my name or the name of the pen. Boring! Gotta work on that. I should be able to muster up enough creativity to sketch a stick dog or cat.

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After I let him know how much I enjoy most of my LAMYs, I voiced a couple of minor complaints about the uninspired all-black 2018 Special Edition Safari and the poor performance of the LAMY Balloon refill. (Love the look of that pen but dear god, it needs a better refill.) Not sure why I did that—heatstroke? dehydration?—because obviously he doesn’t have a direct line to LAMY executives. (Or DOES he?)

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Quickly moving on from my little rant, I mentioned how much I LOVE my LAMY Aions. I have the black one with a medium nib and it’s crazy smooth—one of my favorites. I also have the Olivesilver (I see no olive in the pen’s color, but this time I kept my mouth shut) with a fine nib and it’s an excellent writer as well. But that medium…SO good.

In the course of our conversation, he revealed that the Aion will be coming out in two new colors. WHAT?! Yup—blue and red. You heard it here first, folks! (Oliveblue? Olivered?)

AND, get this, the LAMY 2000 will ALSO be coming out in a new color in 2019, but the actual color was not revealed to me despite some good-natured begging. He wouldn’t budge. Top secret. Loose lips sink ships.

I have so many LAMY pens that it seemed stupid to pick up more, but I needed a souvenir (or two). Eventually I settled on the economical LAMY Logo ballpoint pen in Laser Orange and a LAMY Joy, 1.1 mm, with the black body and silver cap—two pens that are new to me and don’t require deep pockets.

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After I left the LAMY store, I had lunch at a wonderful little restaurant on Grand Street—Le Botantiste, where I enjoyed an artfully composed/deliciously healthy salad, and played with my new Logo.

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Next stop (and next post)—CW Pencils. What a great day.

EXACTLY what I needed: Baron Fig’s Wander Dream Journal

“Dreams, if they’re any good, are always a little bit crazy. ” ― Ray Charles

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I dream epic dreams, full of technicolor details and heart-pounding scenarios, almost every night. I’d love to dream that I’m simply lying on a beach reading a favorite book—all peace and tranquility—but that’s not how my brain works. I’m sometimes wandering around an unfamiliar city or navigating narrow corridors and twisted stairways in a strange and cramped building. Or my basement is filling up with hundreds of unfamiliar cats (this is a recurring one). I must be burning calories with all of this nightly exertion. No wonder I need coffee as soon as I step out of bed.

I’ve thought about of recording my dreams but never followed through—until Baron Fig released their Wander Dream Journal. This perfectly designed, star decorated, clothbound notebook is exactly what I needed to turn that vague urge into concrete action.

Each two page spread contains simple “checklist” style prompts, in the margins, that make it quick and easy to record basic dream parameters, like Emotion…

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Sleep Quality…

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Time…

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Color…

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Viewpoint…

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and Type…

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The prompts are a great idea and I often check them off first thing in the morning, even if I don’t have enough time to record the dream’s details until later.

To capture the plot, specific details, and meaning of each dream, the pages are divided into three sections—Recall, Visualize, and Interpret. So you can see exactly how I use my Wander journal, I’m sharing the dream I had two nights ago—one in which I had a dream inside my actual dream. First time that’s ever happen, I think. This unusual double dream absolutely called out to be documented.

In the lined Recall section, I described what happened in my dream within a dream. How I was driving but couldn’t see more than a few feet ahead of my car. How I was sure that I’d crash before I got to my destination. How panicky I felt. (Where is that beach that I so crave?!?!)

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The blank Visualize section is where you’re prompted to record what the dream looked like. This is the tricky part for me, as my drawing skills are not very well developed. It’s usually the last part I complete because this art piece doesn’t come naturally to me. But—surprise, surprise—it’s the part I’m having the most fun with.

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When I figure out an image that I want to use to represent some aspect of my dream, I google doodling websites to get some basic guidance, then take an amateurish stab at it. What a great way to practice a skill that I’ve always wanted to get better at—sketching and drawing. Tamping down my perfectionism always takes some doing and this feels like another step in the right direction.

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The dot-lined Interpret section is where you can take a stab at interpreting your dream. I’m going through a pretty stressful rough patch with my elderly parents (health issues, anxiety issues, complicated life decisions to be navigated, all while working full time) and so my “driving blind” dream didn’t take a genius to unravel. But—oddly enough—as I wrote out my thoughts, I found a positive message in what seemed to be a very negative dream. I felt relief, and just a little bit of the mental peace that’s been in very short supply lately. Had I not written out my interpretation of this dream, I doubt I would’ve discovered this optimistic nugget.

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Baron Fig’s Wander Dream Journal is obviously a niche product. If you rarely remember your dreams, it’s probably not for you. And if you’re happy recording your dreams in a regular notebook, that’s fine, too. But for those of us who dream ferociously, and who like contemplating what those dreams mean, this is the perfect product. With its simple guided checklists and trio of prompts, this is a journal that provides the perfect balance of structure and space to explore those nighttime stories and mental mysteries.

I started writing morning pages over two years ago and that habit is now rooted so deeply that I’ll never give it up as long as I can hold a pen. I can see dream journaling becoming just as important. I’m thrilled to be recording—and drawing—my dreams after  casually kicking around the idea for years.

Baron Fig’s Wander Dream Journal is exactly what I needed to make that daunting leap from inaction to action. From “I should” to “I am.” From dream confusion to dream insight. How could I not love this notebook?

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And who knows, maybe someday I’ll be drawing that beach.

“Dreams are stories made by and for the dreamer, and each dreamer has his own folds to open and knots to untie.”
Siri Hustvedt

Sweet dreams, my friends.

The Baron Fig Wander Dream Journal was purchased with my own funds, as were all of the products pictured in this review. 

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A Week Away

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I spent last week at a conference in Spokane, WA. I learned, laughed, and networked. We rarely got out of the hotel until evening, but that was fine as the sights were still spectacular. I love walking in new places with old friends.

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Since the conference was scientific in nature, my Baron Fig Experiment made the trip with me, and got considerable use. The green ink pops so I used it to write down those things that I want to come back to—issues, questions, things to think about.

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My roommate and I were often the first ones at breakfast so I’d sprawl a bit—coffee, water, Nock Co. case wide open, Hobonichi ready for updating. I took a pared down selection of pens, but enough to keep things interesting. The pens that got the most use were my Lamy Aion (black, fine) and my clipless Karas Kustoms INK (tumbled aluminum with a wonderful titanium medium nib), both filled with Colorverse Cat. I took notes in a Nock Co. A5 DotDash notebook which was the perfect choice in both size and performance. I almost filled it with my conference notes and will use the remaining space to flesh out thoughts and ideas that popped up during the week’s sessions and conversations.

But ya gotta have some fun, too.

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Atticus Coffee & Gifts (222 N Howard St, Spokane, WA) was definitely my happy place. I could’ve spent all of my free time there happily browsing through their selection of books, mugs, t-shirts, unique cards, stickers, pencils (Blackwings!), pens, and journals, or settled at a cozy table with some cold brew coffee or huckleberry tea. What a cool and comfortable place.

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A “must buy” sticker. (I also bought the t-shirt. HAD TO.)

Saturday morning, I made one last visit a few hours before my flight back east, and walked away with a nice little bag of souvenirs (t-shirt, novelty pen, tea, travel mug, stickers), as well as a much needed caffeine boost.

Flights went well, the weekend went fast, and Monday arrived as it always does. A friend on Facebook said, “The Monday after a week away is the Mondayest Monday ever.” She’s so right—re-entry is hard.

Well, I thought, if I have to work, I’m using my new pen. Which is exactly what I did.

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And you know what? It kind of helped.

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Are YOU having a Monday? Do you need a rubber feather pen? Atticus Coffee & Gifts doesn’t appear to have an online presence, but I see the pen is available HERE. There’s also a grass pen that I should’ve bought, too. You know, for those pesky Tuesdays.

 

 

 

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The Best Night

Sixteen year old Sawyer Fredericks auditioned on NBC’s “The Voice” in 2015 with the song I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow.” I’ve been a fan ever since, especially because Sawyer is a local boy. Well, local(ish), having grown up in Fultonville, NY, about an hour from here.

Sawyer went on to win “The Voice,” released a post-Voice album, but ultimately decided to go independent—a decision that makes complete sense. He’s a unique talent that doesn’t fit the corporate record company mold, and has his sights set on making his music his way. He’s an old soul in a young man’s body—quiet and kind—with a voice that gives me chills.

One of my favorite songs is “Four Pockets,” which he wrote at age 14(!!!).

Last Sunday night, Fred and I attended our first Sawyer Fredericks concert at The Glove Theatre in Gloversville, NY. We purchased $30 VIP passes which included a pre-concert reception, priority table seating, and a post-concert meet and greet. Immediately before the concert, Sawyer premiered his latest video, “Gasoline,” which was filmed in the same venue.

After the concert, about 40 of us lined up to meet Sawyer. His mom was on hand to take photos with our phones, and he graciously signed his fans’ tickets, programs, and VIP passes. I had the presence of mind to bring my Hobonichi and decided to ask him if he’d sign the June 3rd page.

As you know, my Hobonichi has become my “everything” book—the place where I document the details of my life—so it seemed like the perfect place for Sawyer’s autograph. AND I think I have a better chance of hanging onto a Hobonichi through the years than I do a single concert ticket.

So sure, he signed our tickets and VIP passes, AND my Hobonichi.

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As he picked up his Sharpie, he quietly said, “I hope this doesn’t bleed through,” which I thought was adorable—his concern for my notebook. We had to move along so I didn’t launch into an explanation of Tomoe River paper, but just laughed and told him that I really didn’t care. I SO did not care.

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Sure there’s some show-through, but no big deal. I was just thrilled to meet him, capture this memento of a special night, and to say thank you for his music and kindness.

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It really was the best night.

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